Within a couple days of first meeting Ryan Dunn, he and I had a boxing match while walking on stilts. I knew right away that he was way gnarlier than me, because I had all kinds of stilt-walking experience as a professional clown and he had next to none, yet I was distinctly more afraid. I was also desperate to win the match and look cool in the process, and Ryan didn’t seem to care about either of those things.
Ryan wasn’t driven by ego the way I’ve always been. He was comfortable without being the center of attention, wasn’t competitive at all, and never seemed to give a crap what anyone thought of him. In those ways, I could say that he was the exact opposite of me, and a much better man as a result. He was also braver, funnier, and kinder, too.
I’ll never forget, one day, while I was eating raw veggies on the set of jackass 3D, he started laughing hysterically and said, “You went from eating crack rocks off dead hookers to organic broccoli.” He was fucking hilarious, and genuinely supportive of me choosing a healthier lifestyle. He actually cared about me, which is amazing if you knew what an annoying asshole I’ve been most of my life. I didn’t deserve his kindness, but he gave it to me anyway.
I wish I was more like Ryan Dunn, this world now sucks way more without him.
At Ryan’s memorial Wednesday night in West Chester, people were invited up to the microphone to say a few words about his life, whatever they were feeling at that moment. I walked to the podium and tried to share memories of my dear friend, but the words were just spinning in my head. What came out were the mumblings of a man trying his best not to cry, and I wasn’t even successful at that. I didn’t break down, because I knew Angie or his family didn’t need to see that, but I also didn’t get to properly convey what Ryan meant to me. I won’t be able to do that here either, but I will try. Here is what I wished I could have told everyone then.
I felt 34-percent funnier when I was with Ryan, but I guess everyone did. He had such a hair trigger laugh reflex. He lived his life wanting to laugh and wanting you to laugh with him. He would cackle really fucking loud, too, and it wasn’t uncommon that he would fall over from it. Sometimes I would fall with him because his spirit was very contagious.
He wasn’t incapable of seriousness, though. Ryan was a great listener. If you were having troubles, he was always someone you could go sit down and talk to. Granted, most of our sitting down was actually standing up playing pool together, but he was always there if you were sad about something. That’s why all this is even harder because right now I really need to talk to him but I can’t.
Ryan also had an enormous capacity to love. His friends and family got a lot, but a lion’s share of that went to his sweet and beautiful Angie. If he wasn’t with her he would be talking about her. More times than not he would smile wide through that filthy ass beard of his and say something along the lines of, “How did I ever luck up and land her?” Well, it sure wasn’t because of the way he smelled that’s for sure. (Dunn despised water and rarely bathed.) It was because he had a pure, open heart, and many other qualities of which I am writing about now.
He was very loyal, too, and sometimes that bit him in the ass. We were filming a bit for number two where someone was going to stand in front of the Stingmore mine as it exploded. After we did the test, nobody wanted to do it except me. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but I knew we needed footage. As I was doing my usual pre-stunt ritual of sitting in someone’s car listening to Roger Alan Wade very loudly, Dunn climbed in the backseat. He asked me if I was doing it and I said, “Yeah.” He told me he was going to sit this one out and I said, “That’s fine, buddy, I got it.” We went back to listening to Roger and ten minutes later someone knocked on the window and said it’s time. I got out of the car and Dunn fell in behind me grouchily saying, “Ah hell, I’ll do it with you.” Actually, I don’t know if he said that or anything, but I could tell how he was walking beside me that he was doing it. Bam decided he would as well and we all went in and got our asses shot real good. Whether it was a bit for jackass, a friend in need, or his beloved Angie, Dunn was as loyal as they come.
I’ve always had respect and admired the daring nature of the Jackass crew .. it’s like they we’re invincible.
Just had the massive urge to rant as soon as i received a text message from someone close to me.
It made me sick. Here, you have someone who’s got the most loyal partner ever! I mean, he won’t even look twice at a girl nor has borderline’d cheating. He’s the most dopest kid. I have so much respect for him. He feels like family! (I have no reserved feelings for the guy, i’m just by-stander and he sort of feels like family already.)
Back to what i was going to raaaaant about… His partner, who is a relative of mine, we’re pretty tight too. I have been told numerous times where she has (confided in me) cheated and definitely straddled the cheating state line.
What makes me sick is that there are some people out there who would be okay with 1 PERSON. 1 PARTNER. sure, we’re young and we need to test waters and find the person who we picture growing old with but it makes me sick how careless she is. I have been that care-less with certain individuals whom I’ve crossed paths with, that’s why i am so irked by it. BECAUSE I HAVE LEARNED (i may be a few years younger than her—BUT I HAVE LEARNED!)
There are a majority of people who would never trade the kind of partner she has.. no doubt no-one is perfect. And it weirds me out when they get into an arguement when we’re out but regardless, i have so much respect for him — He is such a solid dude. I want them to be end-game for each other but I just wish the girl would just USE HER HEAD.
i am aware i have exams tomorrow. if i don’t pass, i don’t pass my marketing unit. —- so, why am i on tumblr? i don’t have a clue, all i know is.. i know nothing in marketing unless i have my notes. that’s all.
Last year, I was doing intern working for a PR/Marketing group who had clients like Stussy, Mooks, Vans, SuperDry and Obey.
I had a super legit solid badass boss. I swear the raddest boss ever. She’s kind of someone I look up to… (to think about it, ‘kind of’ is an under-statement.) — she should get the ‘Undercover Boss’ award thing cos she’s just that righteous.
Anyways, I got to do some magazine call outs. In the brief for the call-outs, I was reading about latest trends that would be coming out the following seasons. The brief outlined things like embellished clothing, luxe tees, aztec and polka dots (just to name a few, can’t recall much else at the moment.)
I thought to myself (and continue to do so), how/who comes or decides with next seasons lists? I’m just so intrigued by the notions of who or whom calls these shots and how on SPOT they are. — its like some psychic-intergalactic shiz going down.
I kept those things in to mind and slowly along the way i started noticing details in the brief arising in fashion catalogues, online, instore and so on… Before, i read that brief i was digging so hard on aztec and navajo… im still circling around for a baja.
(Please excuse, some hipster state of mind comments that are about to splash onto the screen…) Now, i’m gutted that navajo and the baja is just about a lurk away from being splatted crazy everwhere. we all know, too well how much we indulge when a trend blows up. i just wanted a lil glory with my baja because i’ve been looking around for one SO BAD and now i can just walk down to the local mall and spot one.. it just killed my determination for that one find! — i don’t know about you, but finding something i’ve looked so damn hard for is such an exhilarating feeling.. its like fuck yeah! bust out into happy dance and vogue!
—- i don’t know where this post is going, just came into my mind…. and so i’m ending it here.
It’s a great feeling to have someone unexpectedly come into your life and change your world in the best way possible. It’s true that there are people in this world that can treat you right, make you feel appreciated, let you know that you are loved. Right when you’re about to give up all hope, you get smacked in the face with love. And sometimes, no matter how hard you fight it, you just can’t deny it. When you know, you just know.
I digz it.
Young people love what is interesting and odd, no matter how true or false it is. More mature minds love what is interesting and odd about truth. Fully mature intellects, finally, love truth, even when it appears plain and simple, boring to the ordinary person; for they have noticed that truth tends to reveal its highest wisdom in the guise of simplicity.
Be clenched, curious.
Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead.
It’s all about paying attention.
Attention is vitality.
It connects you with others.
It makes you eager.